can you believe the word on the streets is this series peaked with its third entry?
third. it's like saying that dreamcatcher's best title track is fly high when it's clearl-- *gunshot* *gunshot* *cash register ding*
...i'm gonna say it now: i was proud of this one for a very long time, and then not at all. right now, i stand somewhere in between: it has its charms, that's for sure, but overall i can definitely do better.
from the beginning, though - just like the one before, this fic is yet another birthday gift for a friend, back from the days when i actually could pull off stuff like that with little to no trouble. i know i sound like i'm at least ninety years old and burned out to the point where i can barely write anything, and it's a little ridiculous, but that's exactly how i feel sometimes. that's just what life does to you at one point, i believe.
either way, it was a successful gift, i think. posted on time, if i remember correctly, featuring the friend's bias as the main character, and something for everyone ship-wise. what's not to like?
on top of that - i tried to mirror all of the scenes with each other, make all of those relationships in haseul's life be similar to one another in some kind of way, because that's what she's doing in this au; going in circles, making the same bad decisions and expecting to get different results when cooking with the same ingridients. there's something tragic about this, something human - don't we all want something different in our lives, yet cling to the things we know the best?
so there's this fic, barely 1k words, and i'm proud of it. if someone asks me to recommend them a fic of mine, this is my go-to - and long story short, one day i linked it in that one critique group. i wasn't expecting much, but got even less than that. it may be because those people weren't the target audience; it may be because the fic genuinely wasn't as good as i made it out to be in my head.
i ended up doubting my writing and everything about it - from my use of words and style of prose all the way up to my world-building and character-creation. it was a rough couple of weeks that stunted me almost for good. because what if i was like haseul from this very fic? what if i tried so hard to makes something new out of what i had, but i was actually just running in circles?
i stepped back. took a deep breath. made myself do what i know i do best - write, whether i liked what i was producing or not. (that notion of writing when you feel down about your writing is something i will talk about one day as well.) i carried on, came out of it stronger, knowing what to do - which is the difference between me and haseul here.
this one fic got called my magnum opus several times by several different people, and every time i agreed with them. now i know that it is not. i can do better. i will do better. just you wait.
third. it's like saying that dreamcatcher's best title track is fly high when it's clearl-- *gunshot* *gunshot* *cash register ding*
...i'm gonna say it now: i was proud of this one for a very long time, and then not at all. right now, i stand somewhere in between: it has its charms, that's for sure, but overall i can definitely do better.
from the beginning, though - just like the one before, this fic is yet another birthday gift for a friend, back from the days when i actually could pull off stuff like that with little to no trouble. i know i sound like i'm at least ninety years old and burned out to the point where i can barely write anything, and it's a little ridiculous, but that's exactly how i feel sometimes. that's just what life does to you at one point, i believe.
either way, it was a successful gift, i think. posted on time, if i remember correctly, featuring the friend's bias as the main character, and something for everyone ship-wise. what's not to like?
on top of that - i tried to mirror all of the scenes with each other, make all of those relationships in haseul's life be similar to one another in some kind of way, because that's what she's doing in this au; going in circles, making the same bad decisions and expecting to get different results when cooking with the same ingridients. there's something tragic about this, something human - don't we all want something different in our lives, yet cling to the things we know the best?
so there's this fic, barely 1k words, and i'm proud of it. if someone asks me to recommend them a fic of mine, this is my go-to - and long story short, one day i linked it in that one critique group. i wasn't expecting much, but got even less than that. it may be because those people weren't the target audience; it may be because the fic genuinely wasn't as good as i made it out to be in my head.
i ended up doubting my writing and everything about it - from my use of words and style of prose all the way up to my world-building and character-creation. it was a rough couple of weeks that stunted me almost for good. because what if i was like haseul from this very fic? what if i tried so hard to makes something new out of what i had, but i was actually just running in circles?
i stepped back. took a deep breath. made myself do what i know i do best - write, whether i liked what i was producing or not. (that notion of writing when you feel down about your writing is something i will talk about one day as well.) i carried on, came out of it stronger, knowing what to do - which is the difference between me and haseul here.
this one fic got called my magnum opus several times by several different people, and every time i agreed with them. now i know that it is not. i can do better. i will do better. just you wait.